What's In The Name?
Inquiring Minds sits down with Bellacrest Fantabulatorium resident feline Mr. Bella to get his perspective on things.
Inquiring Minds: We appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule of naps and chicken to shed some light on the mysterious Bellacrest Fantabulatorium. Let’s get right to it. How does it feel to have a business named after you?
Mr. Bella: That’s not quite the case, now, is it?
IM: Wait, Bellacrest Fantabulatorium isn’t named after you? Where did your mistress come up with the name?
MB: "You’ll Find Out."
IM: When? When will we find out?
MB: No, really. The movie. "You’ll Find Out."
IM: Not familiar with it.
MB: (Staring with eyes wide, like little moons, like he can’t believe it. He just can’t believe it.): How can you go on without seeing it right this very minute! You simply must watch it. It’s a 1940’s classic with Kay Kyser, Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi. Now that’s a lineup! My mistress views it annually with her dear friend Ken. It’s a tradition. You should see it in 3D. I’ve never had the luxury, but I hear them go on and on…. Anyhow, I digress. The plot involves heiress Janis Bellacrest who hosts her 21st birthday party at the Bellacrest manor. And when Alma Kruger descends the grand staircase as Aunt Margo Bellacrest, well, it’s something to behold. Madness and merriment ensue. Much like living with my Mistress.
IM: Ah, we see.
MB: No, you don’t. I’m not finished. (pauses) Do you have any chicken? I like the chicken.
IM: I don't have any chicken on me right now, sorry. Perhaps you’d care to go on? Was there also a Fantabulatorium in the movie?
MB: (licks paw, stares into space, licks paw again): So look now here, see. Monsieur visited us during the Winter Solstice of 2017. This is important. Monsieur hails from North Carolina, where he studied fine arts. He’s always been a fine artist. There’s no artist his equal, if you ask me. Or ask our friend Evi. She's seen his work in Greensboro galleries. She says its evocative. We like that word. Evi has lots of good words. I love the Evi. Almost as much as the chicken.
But back to Monsieur. As the story goes, he and Mistress were sipping cocktails one evening, so the story goes, when he said, “Your business needs a magical name. One that evokes the fantastic and the ethereal. Something that speaks to the impermanence of time and the cards you’re creating for such occasions. All the… Forgetabilia. You need…. a Fantabulatorium. That’s what you need, Ma Cher. The Bellacrest Fantabulatorium.” Thus it was so.
MB: Indeed. He is our inspiration. And I am his muse. Of that I am certain. He is forever taking my photo when he visits. We are in awe of his photos. And he seems to like ours, too. He often has great caption ideas that make us laugh. I like it when the Mistress laughs.
IM: And what about the other cat I’ve seen around here?
MB: The Chairman? He’s always running off at top speeds to hold some important meeting with himself. And sometimes with Jennifer. He loves Jennifer. Maybe because she’s also a member of the C-suite. She’s the Fantabulatorium’s Chief Operations Officer. She’s somewhere around here working on something amazing. Like supplier diversity, or procuring environmentally friendly paper. Can you still hear me? Sometimes it’s hard to hear anything because of her deafening awesomeness.
IM: I see.
MB: You keep using that phrase. I don’t think it means what you think it means.
IM: Anybody want a peanut?
MB: No, but I could go for a nice MLT – mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that. Or some chicken. I love the chicken. Because it's the chicken.
The interview at this point dissolved into something resembling luncheon.